not at all vague or confusing , at least to me. I get it. I always feel like I'm on a soapbox too in these and other boards, though it is never my intention.
first off, though, my family, well they are who put the whole let's pretend thing in my personality in the first place.
since my parents are no longer alive, it is only my older sister who still does that. Truth is almost painful for her.
what I am finding for me, that is helpful in interacting with others, is to think before I talk. That is a big challenge for me. The other big challenge for me has always been that I feel uncomfortable in silence with others-
it is quite odd, that I actually don't like to talk "too much" because if I said that to anyone who has spent time with me, they'd likely laugh out loud at that !
but it is really that I have (historically) felt it is "my job" to fill the silence; to keep the conversation going !
And me hating it the whole time. Then, there are the conversations with people who are are way "out there" mentally speaking , and again, I feel like I need to be super polite, super nice , to make that person feel good.
even when it makes me uncomfortable , makes ME feel bad.
has anyone else ever done that?
I am as I said, working on it. I am not doing that anymore. Now I say, "I am busy" or "nice chatting but I have to go now" and for the most part, I am learning to not feel guilty about that.
I am the kind of person people like to open up to. Sometimes I enjoy that ; I just need to find a balance.
I feel that the second part of my life, is all about finding balance.
thanks for letting me blather on.