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Clinic has been fine. I drive from Northshore to Honolulu every 2 weeks......every other friday.
Today I get to clinic at 5:40 am. My heart dropped as I pulled up. The lights are pitch black. No body is standing in line. WTF?????!
I get to the door and our clinic is located in an office building, I see the building maintence guy says "Oh, the clinic is closed today...." my fricken heart sank. I've NEVER EVER missed a dose in 14 years. I am on 180 mgs. WHAT???
I happened to have my counselors "cell phone" number in my phone and call it immediatley!!!!! NO FUCKEN ANSWER. OMG..... then....of course, I called clinic and the only thing the recording says "call 911 in an emergency: Trust me, i was completely PANICED.
I then drove to the emergency room.....my anxiety was coming on strong when the ER nurse told me that "we dont give out Methadone, sorry" .... I said "Okay, but can you help me get ahold of the doctor".....
Our clinic dr. happens to be an "off island" doctor. He flies to Oahu once a week to do the new intakes and whatever business needs to be done at clinic. So...to make matters worse there was NO NUMBER FOR THE DR. Joseph Turban. I called 411. Tried all the outter islands even, in hope of getting ahold of him.....and having him call the clinic staff. While at the ER, they had a social worker come and try to help me. I gave her all the numbers that I had for the clinic. She first told me to go to the other clinic on the island. But.....the truth is, that would do me NO GOOD. I cant just walk into a random clinic and get my dose. NOT POSSIBLE. on a friday. Let alone, a good friday without Dr. on staff. But....the second clinic was closed today too.
So......I got increasingly aggitated. Panicy. I have been on 180 mgs. for 12 years......NEVER missing a dose. EVER. I have heard nightmares.....
I talked to a friend that offered to give me Klonopin for the withdrawl symptoms....but I was worried about taking them....however, I would have, to help the discomfort.
ON my way back home....I decided to drive by the clinic again, at 9:30 am, to see if there was a note on the door, to make sure that they were not closed for the HOLIDAY weekend. (easter) ..... I get out of my car, walked up the stairs.....and I was an emotinal messs.....shaking and paniced. As I was walking upstairs......I see the DOSING NURSE leaving.
I screamed "Jerrrry, Jerry......I need my medicine"
She looked at me like I was crazy. She was leaving....had her bags in her hand and leaving for the weekend. Ended up....she came in for a few hours to 'sand a table' for the clinic. (she likes to volunteer and do nice things like that)
She said "What do you mean you dont have your meds" ..... I explained the story to her. She took me upstairs and dosed me.!!!!!!
I kept thinking I was dreaming...... I mean.....first it was a nightmare.....and then.....I thought i was dreaming when I saw her.
I started crying.....i was so happy.
I am gonna have a word with the director, Lisa Cook about having an emergency contact number. She is an awesome lady. And.....the nurse told me that it was actually MY COUNSELORs fault. Because she didn't put in my "yearly order" to get signed by the doctor. And the friday before....when I came in, it was a brand new nurse that told me that. But....I figured that it would resolve itself....however. I cannot ever think like that. My health and sanity is too important.
I've had nightmares about running out of methadone. Or being without. Today.....was a trip. I am just thankful that I am okay. It was a miracle that the dosing nurse walked out when she did. Or I would be in a world of hurt right now.
I know that people say "oh, its okay to miss a day" but, fuck that. NO. It isn't. I know that I wouldn't die. But......its just not okay. NObody should ever endure this. It was scary.
My clinic needs a "emergency phone number" on the voicemessage. Not just "call 911". Omg...I thought about breaking a window to get the cops there so that they would get the number to the director of the clinic. My mind went a lot of places.
I got my second weeks takehome today. So.....next week, I will be back on my 2 week take home schedule.
Ughhhhh! I am just thankful to be okay.
Love and aloha!
P.S. DURING my panic at the ER, I thought, I wish that I had "chris kellys number from Watchdog" because she would know what to do! Lol....
Last Edited By: islandgirl Apr 5 15 12:04 AM. Edited 2 times