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So actually this is my first time being in an outpatient methadone treatment program. I have been going to the methadone clinic a little over a year now and I have started to decrease my dose. I had to do an inpatient drug rehab thing over 12 years ago and after being there for 30+ days I managed to stay pill and heroin free for around 11 years give or take. Then one day tragedy struck and it was all down hill from there. The whole time I was relapsing I wanted to stop and get help...but I kept on for a while until my fiancée had an accidental O.D. He survived and after that we both decided that we had to get help. It was still hard and we still weren't being totally honest with ourselves and each other because we were still using. Then finally his family had an intervention with us and offered us a chance to get help. We both decided that it was time. That has been a little over a year now and both of us have managed to stay clean.
At the clinic while standing in line I heard so many different stories from different people and it was there that I decided that I didn't want to go up to a very high dose because I didn't want to be there that long. When I told my goals to some of my friends that go to the clinic also they just laughed and said "good luck with that, I thought I wouldn't be going here for very long either." So far it has worked for me, but what they said really scares me and it made me stop and think. I hope I can do this. I have been dosing down slow, 1 mg every other day from 95 mg. I still have sweats, slight cravings and dreams about using. I go to groups on a regular basis and that helps me ALOT. I am new to this forum thing and I don't really know how it all works so if I am doing it wrong just let me know. I have read some of the other members topics and discussions and they are helpful to me. I would like to know if there are any other good sources that would help me with my addiction, treatment, recovery and relapse prevention...if so please let me know about them. Thanks for caring.