I was thinking that too!! Bumthat, I hope this is your rock bottom, and that you manage to get srtaight with the clinic.
Most of our rock bottoms have been far more harrowing, which is why people are trying to encourage you to stay with the clinic and dose every day.
As an example, my rock bottom was homeless, unemployed, selling my body to pay for drugs, and disowned by all my family.
I know you don't want to end up like that, so it's important to stick with the MMT.
I don't know if I ever did hit rock bottom. I hear some awful stories from other people. I knew I was spending money on drugs when I should have been spending it on other things. That's what did it for me. I wanted that extra money. So, I started asking for help till I found the clinic I am going to now. It was hard for me to get into a place for help. Where I was going for counseling at the time had a suboxone program but they had a waiting list so I couldn't get help right away. Then I talked to this one person and he said to try this other place and gave me the phone number. I called but they too wasn't accepting new clients. So finally I remembered this place my old neighbor used to go. It was a methadone clinic. So I stopped in there and I had an intake. They couldn't help me that day because I had to go for blood tests and urine tests. It was a friday and I couldn't come back till it was either monday or tuesday. So I had to buy pills that weekend to get through till they cold see me. Once I got in and had my first dose it relieved me soo much! I was sooo thankful and happy I was finally gettijng the help I needed. They started me on 20mg. About a week or so later I asked to be increased and they did. They gave me 30mg. and that's what I am on now. I have been going now for about 2 months. I am comfortable with the dose I am on. No cravings I just feel normal. I wish I would have started this program a long time ago. Now I have extra money and am able to buy the things I need AND want!