Keep in mind that having cravings, drinking alcohol already and thinking about using are not good signs, and you may want to seek out some support rather than just dismissing them. Simply getting through physical withdrawals means very little--if that were the case, they could just lock up all opioid dependent people in a cell for that time period, let them out and they would be forever cured, with the memory of the unpleasant detox keeping them from ever using again--but that is almost never the way it works. 90% of those who leave treatment before they are ready will relapse within one year, and the vast majority within the first 3 months. That's not being said to bum you out, but to make you aware of the facts, because the serious consequences of relapse are many--loss of job, loss of freedom, loss of health, loss of life, to name a few.
Also, wanted to mention to all that just because we take a prescribed medication to regulate disordered brain chemistry, does not mean we are not "clean", or that we ARE finally "clean" if we get off methadone. That kind of thinking is what drives people to get off their medication and all too often leads to disaster--the desire to be viewed as "clean" by their families, the people at their 12 step group, their probation officers, etc.
Do we tell schizophrenics who take anti=psychotic meds that they should give up those meds and be "clean", or that they are "using" or "dirty"because they take them? Do we say that to bipolar patients who take lithium? Or people with major depression who take Prozac or Zoloft? Those are ALL mood altering drugs, they ALL treat biochemical disturbances in the brain, and they ALL have to be tapered off to avoid unpleasant physical symptoms. Yet, no one tells people whose lives have stabilized on these meds that they need to get off them asap so they can be "clean". People who have brain chemistry disorders often NEED "mood altering medication" in order to function normally, because their mood is not "normal" without them. Mood altering meds are not something "evil" that we must run screaming from if we have a mood/brain chemistry disorder. Taking them does not make us "dirty" and getting off them does not make us "clean". Those words serve only to prejudice people against medication-assisted treatment. I realize that we are all used to using them--I slip and do it myself now and then--but it really is important to try to remember that these words only help people to think badly of MMT in general, for reasons that are inaccurate.