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These past 2 months have been such hell for me. After trying to taper down and get off methadone I slowly went back up but was using at the same time. I was doing fine before that. I had money, paid my bills, was making decent money, and most important I was HAPPY! I don't even know what happy is anymore! This past 2 weeks work has been so slow! I wait tables and depend on tips. Where in working I'm not making shit! People are tipping like shit! I'm a very good waiter and always get compliments but people still are so cheap here in SC! I'm trying to find a 2nd job for extra cash. Really trying to get back into fine dining where I can upsell and actually make good tips. This past week I was scheduled off 2 days for the 1st time in 4 months. I always work 6 days a week and have been working every day for the past 3 weeks so I would have money because it is so slow. I use to always have 2 days off and work like 30-35hrs to make $800-$1200 a week in Orlando. Here I'm barely making $200 a week working 40hrs a week and would work more if they would let me. I went into work and they did t need me cause they scheduled to many people and no one would let me work cause they all need money. I had to charge the clinic this morning due to lack of funds. Didn't go Thursday to make sure I could charge today so I didn't sleep at all last night. I haven't ate in 2 days. I have no money for my weekly car payment of $75 and don't have the $48 for my clinic for the weekend so I'm gonna be screwed! I just wanna fucking cry! I'm trying to get better and happy again but shit just keeps happening to fuck that up! Now if I even have money to I'm gonna have to buy some dope to get through Sunday! I just don't know what to do! I texted my sister about what's goin on and all she says is I don't know what to tell you! I'm fucked so bad it's like I have no hope! Sucks.