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Anyways I thought I would take a few minutes and check in and let everyone know whats been going on in my life. first off I have been dealing with some major health issues for the last few months. I am just so over feeling so bad all the time. It truly sucks. Sucks worse because we cant figure out WHY i am feeling this bad all the time.. Like the doctor and I talked about my last visit its just not normal to be sick without repreive as I have been. As some of the old timers here already know I have dealt with chronic daily headaches for well over 12 yrs. There is NEVER a moment of any day that my head doesnt hurt or that the pain is below a 6-7 on the 0-10 pain scale( 0 being no pain at all and 10 being worst pain ever) and then I have days where calling my headache a 10 would be like comparing an amputation to a hang nail. Those bad days can last anywhere from 8hrs to 8+ days. Its affected my thought process, my memory, my functioning on a normal level. I will be talking to someone and want to say something and it be right there but I just cant quite bring it to the forefront. Ive learned to deal with the headaches when they are my "normal" ones the best I can by going on about life and pretending its not as bad as it truly is. Because lets face it people get sick of hearing "oh my head hurts" all the time. As far as the bad days I dont think there is a way to get used to those. I just do my very best to get through them with hot showers and baths, excedrine which is my new doc, and sleep.. I have been to so many different neurologists and every single time I have left in tears because everytime its the same thing. They dont listen when I tell them its NOT migraines!! That I have had migraines in the past.. Had really bad ones as a teen and into my early 20's and still actually have 1-2 every year so I KNOW the difference . I try to explain to them the neck pain I also deal with and the botched surgery to remove my tonsils and adnoids i had as a kid, the ct scan that showed I had significant straightening of my cervical spine over 16yrs ago and yet I still get sent away with damn migraine prevention meds and migraine relief meds that dont work when you DO NOT have a migraine.. Then just over a year and a half ago I started dealing with severe joint pain and some mild swelling of the joints. I just didnt feel good.
Then here back in the summer I started having new symptoms. I am exhausted ALL THE TIME!!! Something as simple as walking from my living room to my kitchen(I dont live in a mansion lol) leaves me short of breath, my heart beating funny, weak and sometimes dizzy. I made an appt to see a cardiologist who couldnt find anything in office so he set me up to have a nuclear stress echo a week later but I never made it to the appt. I started having really bad chest pains like someone had parked a truck on my chest and I was majorly short of breath, nauseated and had pain radiating down my left arm.. All classic signs of a heart attack that I was taught in nursing school. So ofcourse I go straight to the er where I was admitted despite my ekg and cardiac enzymes being ok(Thank god for that atleast) and they did the nuclear stress test there at the hospital while i was there which I passed. despite me crying and begging the cardio doctor to keep me and run more tests because its NOT normal to feel as bad as I did then and still do he sent me home. and here I am.. Still having bouts of bad chest pain, I have literally passed out 3 different times twice in my yard once in the living room. my hands are so swollen I cant make a fist most of the time, my joints feel like they are being twisted out of their sockets and I have no answers. Life is a mess for me because well everything is such an effort. just taking a shower leads me to having to sit down in the tub midway through or i wouldnt be able to finish it. My house is a disaster area and well it just sucks to be me right now.. I really want answers and I am hoping that getting to Vanderbilt University hospital in Nashville,TN will finally yeild me some answers.
So anyways thats why I havent been around to post much and if its a week or so in between my visits then its most likely because I dont feel well..
In other not so depressing news my daughter Kelsi graduates Magna Cum Laude from the University of Tennessee with a bachelors in education this coming Saturday.. I am sooo very proud of her she has worked soo hard to get through college and fulfill her dreams and I couldnt ask for anymore than that.. She is also getting married to an amazing guy on May 30th of this coming year. He graduates from The University of Tennessee in may himself with a bachelors of education.. Its bittersweet though her graduating and getting married because well she is baby girl, my first born. I got pregnant with her on my highschool graduation night when I was just 17 so we sort of grew up together. What makes all that bittersweet is because in late July or August of this coming year her and her husband will be packing up and moving to NYC.. She will be attending graduate school at NYU which is another great honor for her.
I still have my baby boy at home for now though.. He just turned 17 in september and is a junior in highschool so i atleast got another year with him. and thank god this school year is going MUCH better than last year where he got into legal trouble a couple times one he was actually in the wrong on and the other which would have meant 2 felonies on his juvie record was just on the word of another kid despite the fact he was home with both his parents the night in question.. I am glad i stuck to my guns and fought that one..
anyways sorry for the novel.. Ill post again soon.. Take care and I have truly missed you guys..